The Vending Machine Game

You get a mask of George Lopez! I put in a quarter.

You get attacked by diseased, cannibal monkeys!
I put in a quarter...

You get yen equivalent to a quarter.
I put a quarter in.

You get fluffy, pink bunny footie pajamas!

I put a quarter into the machine.

You get a possessed doll, it drinks blood!
I put in a quarter...

You got some proof that shows that aliens truly exist!
Unfortunately, The Men in Black came, snatched your proof, and...wait a sec what am I doing here?
I put in a corpse...but seeing that it didn't fit I put in a quarter instead.

You get a satanic Teddy Bear. "Your mother plays card games in HEEEEEEEEEELL!"

I put in a quarter, but the machine quickly erupts and turns into a hell-bound vending machine.

You get a bible. (You should read it) I put in a quarter.

You got a Pandora's Box! *takes a peek*
I put in a quarter.

You get the evils of the world come out of the box.

But from the vending machine, you get BUBBLEGUM, BAZOOKA ZOOKA BUBBLEGUM!

I put in a quarter.

You get a Tele Note, you can transport anyone to you when you write their name in the book, however you lose half your lifespan every time you use it.
I put in a quarter.

You get FRAN DRESCHER'S LAUGH!

I place a quarter into la machina.

Wait.. that maid on the Nanny?
You get everything you ever wanted.. Only for it to be stripped away from you moments later.
I put in a quarter.

The Nanny's laugh...

You get Rick Roll'd!

I put in a quarter.

You got a miniature figurine that looks like Omnis.
It somehow emanates nostalgia...
I put in a quarter.

You get a one-way-trip to obesity with Ronald McDonald!

I put in a quarter.

You get an Ojama yellow, that follows you around wherever you go, and sounds exactly like Navi the fairy. I put a quarter in the machine.

You get Gir... you lucky bastard...

I put in a quarter...

Ojama Yellow: HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN! HEY! LISTEN!...

If you get this thing away from me, I will thank you for it...

You get Ojama Green to as well stalk you, but this time it makes all the sounds Link does! I place a quarter in the machine.

God... you're cruel...

You get the machine to FIRE HIZ LAZOR at you. It hits.

I put in a quarter.

You got a Charizard! Charizard uses FLAMETHROWER
at Omnis, Kenji Saoji and Ojama Green. It was a critical hit! It was super effective!
Omnis took lethal damage! Kenji Saoji fainted! Ojama Green was brutally killed!
Its good to see that over...
I put in Ojama Green's corpse inside the vending machine instead of a quarter, hoping it will work.

Ojama's corpse is stuck and the machine beeps, Ojama flies out at you and you are knocked in the head.
I put in a quarter

You get a monkeywolf... It eats carrots. I put in a quarter.

You get lead poisoning!

I put in a quarter.

You get a container for your innermost joy. Because you sorely need one.

I put in money equivalent to a quarter, but in real money.