The Vending Machine Game

You get shot in the face again. Leave it to the stunt doubles.

I put in a quarter...

You got a Chatot that says "**** you!".
You then decide to cook it and eat it.
I put in a dollar, because I lack change.

A mechanical arm emerges from the depths of the machine, and it reaches out and steals your glasses. It then pokes your forehead, and you are laughed at by the people in line behind you.

Being the next one in line, I giggle and insert a quarter...

You get your mind assaulted by SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES.



I insert a quarter.

A small kitty dressed as a Butler crawls out of the machine and jump kicks your nuts.
I insert a quarter.

You got a Poke Ball.
I put in a quarter.

You get Pink CEO, the Sakura Tree.

I put in a quarter.

You get...The old Omnis, who had no Bestest Fwends! I went there.


I put in a quarter, wondering what wonders might occur once I place said token of money into the machine.

You get the vending machine FIRE ITS FRICKING LAZOR!!!
...I then put 5 nickels.

You get a Betta Fish in a little glass jar that's filled with marbles (and water, of course). Its name is William III, because the first two died. D:

I slowly insert twenty-five pennies...

Because machines hate us all, three of them are rejected.
After inserting three more, you get a small medal for your patience; when the robot uprising comes, you will be spared.

I put in some cashmonies.

Because the machines hate us all, even you, they decline your INTERNET MONNEH. They choose not to spare you, as they then begin to conquer the world.


I jam Omnis into the machine.

Omnis is shot out at you at such a speed that he kissed you, and you liked it. The Vending Machine then falls over on both of you crushing you as a new vending machine to the right of it appears.

I put a quarter into the new vending machine.

Oh thank god, I'm dead now.

You get a butler, but he's one hell of a butler, and he kills you. The end.

I put in a quarter.

You as well get a Butler, HOWEVER...You're a little rich girl who needs a Combat Butler for highly unexplained reasons. You call him Hayate the Combat Butler, then fall in love with him, since we all know Omnis loves Yaoi.

I shove Omnis' dead carcass in the machine.

You got a revive and you use it on Omnis. Yay welcome back Omnis!!!
I insert false money into the machine.

The machine comes to life and eats your firstborn child. Your false money pops out and you owe every company in existence over 7,000 dollars for every time you have ever spoken about despair and every time you do.
I put in a quarter...

You got a Nurse Joy. Keep it away from Kenji.
Since I definetaly went bankrupt, I steal a coin from Gabe's pocket and I put it into the vending machine.

Before you have a chance to release the coin, the machine's coin slot expands massively and, like a vacuum, swallows you and your stolen quarter up within its inner workings, sealing you inside. You are still alive, but you are quite stuck, and very frazzled.

As the next person in line, I have just witnessed this whole event and, laughing heartily at your situation, I insert 50 cents. Perhaps that little extra payment will ensure your release... :3

With 50 cents, you receive the entire first season of "The Chappelle Show" on VHS. You then remember that you gave your VCR away to "Good Will" and leave the machine in discontent.

I approach the machine with my arms extended. I give the machine a friendly hug, and insert one coin with President Obama imprinted on one side and The Statue of Liberty imprinted on the other.

You hear the machine say "proccesing....proccesing" and after about twenty seconds of it saying that the machine pits out a T-shirt with a picture of President Obama breakdancing infront of the White House

I put in 25 Wheat Pennies.

You and everyone else that didn't put in an average quarter get...
kicked in the face with ENERGY LEGS!

I put in an average quarter, not trying to cheat the system.

You get an average soda. Enjoy.

I put in a regular quarter as well.

You get a green squirtle. It can perform photosynthesis so you don't have to ever feed it! I insert a quarter.

You get $100, and you go to the nearest pretzal store and ask for 400 quarters, pissing of the cashier.
I put in a quarter.