A Life Lesson

Chapter One: Awakening


Matthew woke up at roughly 6 am one morning. He got up, sat on his bed for a little bit, and thought about what the last night brought. He looked at the sleeping figure laying next to him, a girl by the name of Rachel. He partially remembered what happened last night, drunken sex that would dig the hole he was already in even deeper. He gathered himself up, and he woke up Rachel. She groaned partially, and rolled over. He shook her, and told her to get out, as the poor boy was on the verge of tears because he knew he would have to break the news to Maria later that day. Rachel put her clothes, left, and Matthew sat there with his phone in his hand, with Maria's contact information selected. He wanted to press call...SO bad...but he knew she wouldn't be awake, so he put it off. He then went along with his usual day: Getting up, making breakfast, checking the weather, iconing, and then playing xbox until someone wanted to make plans with him. That was the first day in a long series of a long, sad chapter of Matthews life.

“The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in."

Matthew sat in his living room with his phone to his ear, tears sliding down his face, and hysteric sobbing. It was hard for him to breath, let alone even harder for him to apologize to the girl whose heart he knew he had just shattered to a million little pieces. She hung up, and he dropped the phone. Matthew didn't know what he was going to do, he caught himself thinking the joy suicide would bring himself, and also Maria. He couldn't help but think that him ending his existence would somehow make her happy. He knew this wasn't true, but he thought it anyway. All he wanted to do...was die. The only comfort he could find was in his best friend Joseph, as they had promised each other they wouldn't give up on one another, no matter what the other could have done. Both of them knew what it was like to be alone, and neither of them wanted that again. All Matthew could do was pour his heart out to Joseph that day, and all Joseph did was listen...all he could do was listen. That day was the first day Joseph had seen Matthew cry.

"Without love, we are birds with broken wings.”

Matthew and Maria were the best of friends, and Matthew had a crush on her for a long time. He gathered enough confidence, and he asked her out one day. He loved her to death, he got to a point where he though he needed her to function. He didn't know he was capable of that kind of love, even if he was at such an early age, Matthew was only 15. He swore to God he loved her, yet he was capable to do something like cheat on her, and not thing anything of it while it was going on. He blamed it on the alcohol, Maria didn't think it was a worthy excuse. He didn't understand his own mind, nor did he want to. He didn't want to understand something that was capable of doing something so cold hearted. He had become a monster, and he didn't even know it. Matthew decided that he never truly loved, he had only cared. He didn't know what it was like to love, he cared a lot...but he never got far enough for it to be considered loving.

"It's not to late to... ask yourself if you really are the person you want to be, and if not, who you do want to be."

Chapter 2: Turn Around

Matthew woke up one morning, roughly a week after everything happened, and Maria cut all ties with him. She no longer wanted to see his face or hear his voice, and to say the least, Matthews heart was in pieces. He went to school that day depressed, alone, he didn't talk as much as he used too. Everyone knew why he wasn't talking too, as stories spread like wildfire in the smaller high school he goes too. The only people he could even think about talking too were Joseph and Stephen. Both of them cared about what he had done, but they wouldn't turn their back on him. He sat in his philosophy class, when he heard the teacher say, "What is love?" Matthew almost put his head down at the question, but instead, he actually listened to the ignorant responses that 80% of his class said. The teacher then began to say more things about love, and she then said "You can not love anyone, until you begin to love yourself." Matthew was rocked by the statement, and he then realised what he needed to do.

"Love is never having to say your sorry."

A month after Matthew heard the sentence "You cannot love someone until you begin to love yourself," he believed he had some self respect for himself, not to mention a bit of pride. All the while Maria never stopped caring for Matthew, but she decided she would never tell him that, she knew she would be ridiculed for still having feeling sorry somebody who broke her heart so badly. Of course Matthew was still heartbroken over Maria, and he would do whatever he could do to get her back in his arms, where he left she ultimately belonged. Matthew was sitting at his computer one day, playing games on Newgrounds. He then received a text on his phone, he looked at it, and it was from Maria. He stared at it for a moment, and he then threw his phone at his bed, as he didn't wanna hear the insults he thought she was giving him like she was a month ago. Maria sat there, staring at her phone, waiting for some sort of response. She never got one.

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”

Matthew drove to school the day after Maria texted him. He went through all of his classes, until he was in Biology, Maria sat next to him that day. She asked why she didn't text him back, he took out his phone and showed her all the terrible things she had said to him. He was ridiculed terribly by her, beyond the point necessary for him to learn any sort of lesson. Maria was speechless at the action, she knew all he expected was more insults, but he was wrong. She told him that she still cared about him, and she still wanted to try to make it work. All Matthew would do was nod, as he was at the verge of tears. He couldn't believe what was happening, he couldn't believe that she still wanted to even speak to him after what he had done.

“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she'll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she's left.
Your heart can be empty because you can't see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she'd want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”